Say Hello To My Little Friend
by GentCrowCruisin
Summary: The summer before his last Hogwarts year, James Potter is home alone and bored, he meets someone unexpected. Then Sirius has an idea and things get completely out of control. Marauders Comedy OneShot


**AN: Harry Potter and all the associated stuff belongs to JKR.**

_**Say hello to our Little Friend**_

_(Short comedy in two acts)_

Act I.

_Empty meadow somewhwere around the Potter __estate,__ afternoon in the summer before the Marauders' last year at Hogwarts._

_James Potter comes_

**James** I'm bored...

_*James kicks the ground in desperation*_

**James **I'm bored!

_*Something moves in the background*_

**Something **Me too, man, me too.

**James **Yeah, I mean, I'm all alone, because Padfood turned 17 and left for his own home, and my parents are away in our Cornwall estate... And I can't think of anything I could do!

**Something** I understand mate, I really do. Must be horrible.

**James** *_realizing that he's been talking tho nothing, draws his wand*_Where are you!? And most importantly, WHAT are you!?

_*Peeves comes forth from the bushes in the background, waves kindly to the back of James*_

**Peeves** Hi, I'm Peeves.

**James** *_turns around while having a minor heart attack*_ Merlin's pants! What are you?

**Peeves** I'm a poltergeist. And I'm bored too.

**James** *_visibly has an idea (lightbulb etc.)*_ Aaallright. Peeves, right? Do I remember well, that poltergeists need a powerful magical place to exist? *_James magnanimously ignores the fact that if poltergeists don't live in a powerful magical place, they have to terrorize the inhabitants, so that they can draw energy from their fear*_

**Peeves** *_with a somewhat imperceivebly sad expression* _Yes, you do. And I was driven away from my home... So I practically just wait 'till I vanish.

**James** What if I offered you a deal?

**Peaves** *_visibly interested*_ What deal?

**James** You come with me to my family home, which is coincidentally a very powerful magical place, and you keep me company, while not wreaking havoc in the house.

**Peeves** *_looks disappointed*_

**James** *_recognizing the risk*_ Instead, we go and wreak havoc together somewhere else! Deal?

**Peeves** Deal.

_Both leave the scene together with satisfied faces_

Act II.

_The parlor of Potter Manor, James waits by the fireplace, while Peeves pensively and invisibly floats over his head_

_The fireplace flashes with green flames, and Remus, Sirius and Peter step out closely following eachother_

**Marauders** Hey Marauders! _*Peeves is embarrassed by the unimaginative battlecry*_

**Sirius** So, Prongs, why exactly do you require our presence?

**Remus** I thought you were old enough to avoid trouble...

**Peter** I didn't think that.

**James** Guys, there's no trouble.

_*Everyone is clearly surprised*_

**Remus** _*furrowing his brow academically*_ That means it's worse.

_*Peter and Sirius agree nonverbally*_

**James **_*clearly insecure what to say*_ Well, I wanted you to meet someone.

_*Peter, Sirius and Remus stares at him with eyes wide open*_

**Sirius** You managed to get Evans to go on a date with you!

**James** It's not...

**Peter** Did you use love potions?

**Remus** _*notices that there's a half-invisible poltergeist over James's head, who's rolling his eyes in annoyance at the conversation*_ Khm.

_*Everyone looks at him, even Peeves* _

**Remus** I think James knows that we already met Lily.

**Sirius **You've got someone else as a girlfriend?

**Peter** Is it Marlene?

**Sirius** The hell is it Marlene! She's my girlfriend! … At least I think so...

_*Remus and Peeves exchange looks of misery, James starts to bang his head into the wall*_

**Remus** Khm.

_*Everyone looks at him*_

**Remus** James met a new friend, as it seems, and he wants us to meet _*gets a bit confused* _him or her, or whatever.

**James** _*Sends a thankful look at Remus, gets an understanding nod in return* _Yes! Please allow me to introduce Mr Peeves! _*Points both hands over his head where he last saw Peeves*_

**Peeves** _* materializing behind James as usual*_ Good morning, gentlemen!

_*James, Sirius and Peter are startled and look at him*_

**Peter** This is a poltergeist. _*Faints*_

**Remus** _*rolls his eyes, and casts a Renervate on Peter, then looks at James with his best „prefect look"* _Explain.

**James** _*takes a deep breath, massages his temple* _So. I was bored, and went for a walk. Met Peeves, and offered him a deal, that I wouldn't be alone, and he would get another magical place to live at. But my parents will be home in two days, and I strongly suspect that they would probably disapprove, if they found a poltergeist in our family home.

**Peter** _*regained his composure* _In other words: „Can I keep him?"

**Remus** You told us that there's no trouble, and yet here we are.

**James** Padfoot, is it possible that at least you support me?

_*Sirius is lost in his thoughts*_

**Peter** Sirius?

_*James, Remus and Peter look at each other in terror*_

**Remus** _*looking up to pray for his miserable life, whispering* _Merlin help us... He's got an idea!

**Sirius** I've got an idea!

_*James, Remus and Peter cover their faces hopelessly* _

**Sirius** I siriusly _*winks, James, Peter, Remus and Peeves slap their faces in unison* _found the perfect parting gift that we can give our alma mater! Tell me, Mr Peeves, how would you like to live in an old, lofty castle swarming with magical energy and puny little wizardlings, that are easy targets?

_*All present tilt their heads with a mischievous grin on their face*_

**Remus, Peter, James and Peeves** _*in unison* _Please go on, Mr Padfoot!


End file.
